its summer.

lol this entry was so stupid. and it sounded so childish. made me gag. anyways, lets be friends and no hating!

today was minimum day. right after school i told my dad to pick me up. and they took awhile so i called again.
where are you? its been awhile.
mom said "you know, i think i change my mind about the car. just forget it"
i was like, what the hell.
but then i wasn't so surprised because i kind of expected that.
so then i got into the car and my dad was like
your mother was joking.
i thought my dad was kidding about my mom joking but my mom said lets go to toyota buena park and then miller and then elmore
so i was like okay.
we went there. and oh man, i freaking love having connections and i LOVE filipinos. haha
my mom's friend's husband works there so it was all chill. we looked at the camrys and my mom was like why not get corolla?
then i said, no i want camry.
and my dad said, just get what she wants so we dont have to hear her complain.
so my mom asked the dealer guy about the camry
we asked for the invoice price which was tight.
then i wanted the sky blue pearl
THEN my mom realized that we could get the car for a cheaper price but from a lower model, a CE
but the color was ugly and it was the only color of its kind.
it took some negotiating.
but i got the color i want
but guess what
on the way home, in the brand new car with only 9 miles
i spilled pepsi
on the carpet
I SPILLED FUCKING SODA ON THE CARPET.
what a fucking idiot..
thank goodness for the carpet stain removal spray that i have. omg, i would have killed myselft
then now, its in the garage.
^_^
i could connect my ipod

wow so isaac is here

I went to the hospital today. This is so that i dont have to go on Saturday. I could go to the beach and boogeyboard. I really want to get darker. I dont know why though. Its just me i guess. so no one would show up on this coming saturday. not him either.
i think i have grown to become more audacious. and audacious is what brings me to confront people. what pisses the hell out of me is when being confronted, they dont have the balls to answer.  it is so peculiar.  i am also less shy now which is quite weird, but good in a way i guess. i mean, i actually have friends!
anyway, this summer has made me realize that i've lost so much but gained so much more.

I realized that i have lost that "closeness" i had with david. and i admit that it is entirely my fault for losing that, but then he also admits that us hanging out with our own friends and our differences have gotten us drifted apart. I also find it really odd how david compliments me.
the david i once knew well doesnt compliment people that much. only if that person is worthy of compliments but otherwise, nope. he also keeps saying that i am such a good friend. that makes me wonder am i really a good friend?
friend. whats the true definition of it?
my dad once told me not to rely on friends too much because in the end, you are on your own.
so that made me hesitate a bit on relying too much on people, because in the end, i end up fixing things by myself.
but nowadays, my emotions got in my ways more than before. things get swayed so damn easy its ridiculous.
so it is friends that i lean onto.
but it is very uncomfortable.

pssss i want to drop 5 pounds.
but wthelll, my jeans are not fitting me.

I think I'm clear over the subject. There maybe some residues, but hopefully, they all will be eradicated before Christmas.
How's my summer might you ask? it's LOVELLYYYY. i've been hanging out a lot. at least, there is more to my life that what it seems. dude i dont think i'll be using my new backpack. its eh, idk. ajsodjfoaid. its too....i dont know. i'll use it when im in college .
IM A JUNIOR NOW!!! i want to go home <333 so much. i just want to go shopping at home i guess. and just being at home. i feel safe. and idk why but i was never bored at home. but now that im here. i get bored so easily. haha. maybe homesick. i still have to take a shower. and rewrite my SAT words. hopefully i get to go to the beach this weekend.
FOOL, GET READY FOR SCHOOOL. i really hope this year wont be as crappy as sophomore year. i wont be too excited.
aosd i just cant wait to get my license and a new phone. THEN i get  a job. =]]]]]]]

mannnn now that things are about to be cool and normal. it falls right BACK to where it was originally.
dont you just wish you were invisible sometimes? i do.
well technically, that wouldnt change much. people just wont talk to you and therefore you will be cut off from the rest of the world.
oh man, i think im at that point in my life where friends are almost my everything. and there you have your priorities..
FRIENDS. then school. but aye, mine are like whatever/
imma start my volunteering thing soon. hopefully it'll be fun and not as boring. eh. my saturdays will be oh so exciting, escorting people to their "loved ones" 
haha. wish i had a "loved one" . oh oh and i wish i was  a "loved one" too but nahhhhhh weird.
whatever whatever. so much homework. watch, this week and next week imma be complaining my ass off about hw and....other things.
by other things, i meant things that are completely irrelevant. aka things that dont really matter and i'll live but they bug my mind.
which sucks pretty much. haha who reads this anyway?
ehh bye

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ขอให้กูเลิกชอบมึงซักวันสิ เเล้วเมิงจะรู้ว่ามันเจ็บขนาดไหน

i really need a life. man, im always either at home doing homework or if im out then its not fun stuff. its either like sylvan or church. how gay my life is.

maybe its time for me to let go and go back to being a loner again. i want to. i REALLY do. but i cant. its just a loss feeling i dont have that friend anymore. a big loss. no more talks. i may seem like i have a lot of friends but you know sometimes i feel like i dont have any friends at all. i just know a lot of people and acquaint myself with them but none that i truly trust everything with. and i dont know. now that i think ive found one. he wants to go away from me it seems. or like idk if what he does is just to get rid of me as a friend or like the nice things he says is just to kiss up to me so he can use me for stuff. i dont know. i cant really tell. and what sucks is that. im so close and attached. and its always so hard for me to let go. i cant let go. he always always always always always wants to exclude me out of things. ALL the time. but then like when others arent around he's just there to be around and be like hey yeah. dumb nerd. i mean i guess he's getting sick of me or something. but i dont know. i dont know. I DONT KNOW.


update december 13th
that was before and after. psh. this asshole is out of my life now.

schools been okay. im doing really good in rothwell. ...well, at least i think i do. doode, i quit water polo cuhz i can't walk home late and it's sooo exhausting. i don't think i'll make the team anyway. those varsity girls are also really mean. ughh...the heck with them. im not going to cuss anymore. it's so immature and unprofessional. well. i have to go.bye

this will be a diary that im most honest to. nothing to hide.